Yes, mom.
Yeah, no, I'm going to wear the shoes.
No, no, no, I can't wear those.
I wore those on black Friday and cyber Monday.
Yes, I love you, too.
Merry Christmas, sir!
Ooh, excuse me.
Are you done with the crossword?
Thank you.
Hey, window-washer.
Hey, window-dresser!
Well, assistant window dresser,
but thanks for the upgrade.
"Nine-letter word for Spanish moss."
Mistletoe.
Of course.
I'm stuck on 13 down.
Yeah...
I'm thinking "chaplin."
That would work.
You seeing the boss
dressed like that?
'Tis the season.
Besides, unlike you,
they didn't hire me for my looks.
I'm a looker.
Have a good one.
Okay, latte, extra foam.
Ah, thank you, sweetheart.
Yeah.
You look like you're ready to take over the world.
I would be happy to take over the front windows.
You do that, and I'll be here to wash them for you.
Thanks, Mac.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Good morning, Mr. Fitch, how are you?
Cut the small talk, Sloan.
Work to do.
Hey...
Why are you here?
Well, let me see.
Oh, right, I work here.
Yeah, but you're not here for the window job.
The position hasn't been filled yet, has it?
Don't worry,
I'm sure you'll get it.
Oh, I am not worried.
Candy cane?
No, thank you.
I had candy canes for breakfast.
Oh, yum.
Okay, not that it's going to help,
but, uh, that sweater you're wearing...
Is awesome. Right?
Bought it on 34th street.
Yeah.
Um, we're supposed to be wearing clothes from mcguire's.
You know, so, you may want to...
Take that off.
Oh, I see what's happening here.
I'm flattered, honestly,
but I feel like we should keep this relationship
strictly professional.
This may be a joke to you,
but this is not a joke to me.
This job is about projecting an image, okay?
It's a responsibility.
We're not doctors without borders.
We're window dressers.
Mm-mm, mm-mm.
We are visual merchandisers.
Isn't that kind of like calling the trash guy
a "garbologist"?
No.
Good morning.
How are you? Okay.
Now, I'm sure you've both heard,
that our loyal miss jeffers,
our head designer for two decades,
stabbed us in the back
and went to go work for our competitors,
taking her people and her sketches,
and leaving me with empty windows
and low hanging fruit,
a.K.A., you two.
So, merry Christmas to me.
So, obviously,
it's far too late to find any suitable replacements.
I would actually...
I would be more than happy to step in for miss jeffers.
Oh. Oh...
Well, there you go, problem solved, right?
No, I realize that I don't have her experience, per se.
No.
But three of the window ideas
that were implemented over the summer,
they were mine.
Partially mine.
I graduated from Parsons with honors.
Carry on, sorry.
Oh. Thank you.
And I have been working at mcguire's
for two years now.
For two years.
My gosh, that's practically a lifetime, two years.
I've been here two months, and it feels like a lifetime.
It certainly does, Jake.
It feels like a lifetime, yeah.
Okay, guys, listen,
Christmas is in 28 days.
That's two new windows every week
until the jolly fat guy in the suit shows up, right?
Santa!
Santa claus, thank you.
I was gonna say "Santa".
I know we've been through some remodeling here,
but mcguire's has 95 years of tradition we have to uphold,
and we're not going to let
some black-hearted turncoat bring us down.
No.
No, because our windows?
Our windows are going to grab people off the street,
and take their breath away...
Shoop! Breath right out of them,
running into the store with their credit cards.
"Right, get out of my way!"
Running in, buying things.
Listen to me, this is very important.
If the impossible were to happen,
and one of you two were to impress me,
you might just find yourselves the next miss jeffers.
God help us!
Thank you for the opportunity.
Um, I won't disappoint you.
Good.
I, on the other hand, might.
No doubt you will, no doubt you will.
Pressure's on, pressure cooker's on.
Pressure's on!
Come on, guys, let's do this.
Well, he's fun.
Nice legs.
Or should I say "leg."
Sloan van doren.
Mom, I told you that I can't...
No, you can't call me on my cell here.
I don't get any reception.
I...
I'll call you back.
If it's not one thing, it's your mother, huh?
So, uh, three names or four?
What?
No, let me guess, let me guess.
Um... Mrs. bitsy Hanover...
Van doren Jones.
She's in the garden club...
Oh, and on the board of several charities.
Wow, you must be psychic.
I am. And you know what else I see?
What?
Me as the future miss jeffers.
And 95 years of mcguire's comes to a screeching halt.
You know, there are two windows.
We could team up, pool our ideas.
Yeah.
Yeah, or, um,
I could get both windows,
and then you could go back to doing the sock display
on the second floor.
Or I could get both windows,
and you could go back to reading
"how to win friends and influence people."
: Ah, lifestyles of the rich and shameless.
Kenny, good to see you again.
It's Kenneth, actually,
and no offense, but I don't shake hands.
Mm, tennis elbow?
No. Germs.
Yes, it's flu season,
and Kenneth can't afford to get sick.
Oh, are you saying I make people sick?
At least one, yeah.
Ouch.
Thank you.
Okay, you two.
Whoa!
You didn't drop a dime, did you, Kenny?
No.
Losers, weepers.
I'll see you tomorrow?
Yay.
Let's go.
I like this guy.
♪ Oh, dashing through the snow
♪ in a one-horse open sleigh
♪ over the fields we go...
Flanders and missy want to meet up later.
Oh, um, I can't.
I really need to get home and start sketching.
- It's early. - I know.
I'm... I'm sorry.
Okay, so, um,
to clarify,
if you get this,
you'll be working over the holidays?
Well... yes.
So, what about Aspen?
Yeah.
We could...
We could go in January...
After new year's?
Everyone will be gone by then.
So, what, it's like Pompeii?
The entire town vanishes?
Yeah.
I mean, everyone that matters.
Oh.
Come on, nobody gives up skiing in Aspen
to put up balloons in some windows, Sloan, nobody.
It's not just some window.
It's... It's my chance.
You know, I could be head window designer
at mcguire's.
Anyway,
I probably won't get it.
I mean, they'll most likely give it to Jake.
No, you're going to get it.
I'll have my dad call old man mcguire
who belongs to our club.
You'll get it.
What? No.
No, no, please don't do that.
Sloan, this is how things happen.
People call in favors all the time.
But, see, I don't want this to be a favor.
I need to get this on my own.
I can do this.
Okay.
All right, that's it for tonight, folks.
Jake?
Jake...
Wake up, we're done.
Sorry.
Thank you.
Jake...
You have until 10:00.
Thanks.
All right?
Lock up on your way out.
Will do.
Major progress tonight, everybody.
See you next Thursday.
Nine-letter word for shrew?
Uh... harridan?
Fishwife?
Hey, Mac.
Battleaxe. It's battleaxe.
Why did you just point at me
and say "battleaxe"?
What? Oh, come on, it's a term of endearment.
A soldier goes to war, he needs his battleaxe, right?
- Thanks, honey. - Yeah, thanks, hon'.
Hey, don't. No.
Come on, what happened to that Christmas spirit?
All right, the bigger question is
why is an adult eating a gingerbread man
at 7:30 in the morning?
Adult?
Oh, thank you.
I'm forgetting something. What am I forgetting?
Don't look at me. I don't know what day it is.
It's Wednesday.
It's Thursday.
What? How did that happen?
So, uh, big night with you and sir Kenneth?
No. Sketching, actually
oh, sketching.
Yes. For the window?
That's what I forgot.
Paper.
I forgot paper.
You know what? Sorry. Real quick.
What?
Gee, thanks.
You're kidding me.
You're just doing this now?
Inspiration strikes when it strikes.
Yeah, no, take your time.
You have a whole, ooh, seven minutes.
Yup.
Ah-ah-ah-ah...
Oh, you're ridiculous.
Hey, that's good, that's good.
A little snowman, maybe?
People, people, people,
clearly, this assignment was above your pay grade.
Well, everything's above my pay grade.
Needless to say,
I am happy to report
that you're not entirely void of talent.
Thank you, Mr. Fitch.
Really, Sloan,
is there no end to your gratuitous pleasantries?
Oh, yeah. There is.
Installations begin
tomorrow night.
So it goes without saying
that the alarm will be on,
so exit through the alley door.
The system will bypass that specific exit
for two hours
and then re-arm.
We don't need another Halloween fiasco.
That was a freak accident.
Okay.
South window.
Yes!
Um, thank you, Mr. Fitch,
and, um, which one are we going to go for
in the north window?
Uh, north window.
Hey!
I accept.
Oh, this is so unexpected.
Uh, I'd like to thank my third grade art teacher.
Of course, I wouldn't be sitting here today
if it weren't for this chair...
I don't understand.
I thought you said that only one of us was
was going to get to replace miss jeffers.
Oh, and one of you will.
The one whose brings in the most customers
between now and Christmas.
With all due respect, Mr. Fitch,
I take this very seriously.
I mean, I was up all night with those sketches,
and he did his in, like, what
10 minutes on the curb?
Well, seven,
but who's counting?
Um...
His design was better.
In fact, had he not smeared frosting
on his second napkin,
he might have had both windows.
Oh.
There you go.
Thank you.
You look tired, sweetheart.
Sleep is crucial for women like us.
Like us?
You know,
the unmarried.
Look at me,
I get my nine hours, no matter what.
Alarm could go off
in the building,
my head stays on the pillow.
That sounds dangerous.
Not as dangerous
as that lipstick you're wearing.
Those red hues totally wash you out.
You're a fall, not a winter.
Knock 'em dead.
Uh-huh.
Thank you, Rita.
What, no tip for all that advice?
Oh.
Have a nice day.
How could I not?
Look at all these surroundings.
If you don't mind me saying so, dearie,
that scarf doesn't do you any justice.
Have you seen the display on the third floor?
I'm just trying to be helpful.
Whoa.
Hold the door!
Whoa, whoa! Ah...
M'lady.
Thank you, darling.
Where you headed?
Housewares.
Cooking demonstration by any chance?
Best appetizers in the house.
And on the house.
I just hope they have that plum pudding today.
No, plum pudding is Tuesdays.
Today is candied yams.
Wednesday and Friday are those honey-baked ham things.
Sounds like you could use a homecooked meal.
Yeah, it's a little more expensive here
than I'm used to.
Mcguire's?
New York.
Ah, ain't that the truth.
Talk to you. Thank you.
Hey.
Good night, Mac.
Good night, Rita.
Congrats on the window.
Oh, thank you.
I just can't believe that he got the other one.
He thinks this job is a joke.
Well, maybe it just seems that way.
You know, the thing that gets me though is,
he's good, you know?
Well, I don't know much about design,
but I've seen a lot of windows in my day,
and I'll tell you one thing,
when miss jeffers started here,
she wasn't all that good.
Really?
No.
Her first Christmas window was a styrofoam snowman.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
With a carrot nose, and the two eyes of coal?
Just one. The other one fell out.
Oh, no!
But she took this art class,
and she got in touch with her creative side.
Hmm.
Well,
my job is done.
Ah, wish I could say the same.
An all-nighter?
Yeah.
What are you up to?
Oh, just another night at home.
No hot date?
More like cold leftovers and a good book.
Oh, hey.
You ever see this one?
Aw, it is a classic.
Hmm.
Yeah, maybe when I was 7.
Aw, it's funnier now.
What's really funny
is that you, um, you haven't even started.
I started.
I plugged in the TV.
Wow, nice skyline.
Just...
Go back to your cartoon.
I want to see what you do next.
Will it be...
The empire state building?
Or the statue of liberty?
Hmm...
I knew it.
That looks heavy.
Let me give you a hand.
Thank you.
No, take it.
Come on, take it. I insist.
No, I can manage. Thank you.
All right!
I'll be over here if you need me,
hanging out.
Actually, you know what,
I think I work better with an...
Audience...
Oh.
Boy.
It's like working in a fishbowl.
Ah...
I see you went with less is more.
And I see you went with more is more.
Well, louder grabs people.
You know, understated elegance, though,
just taps them on the shoulder.
Yours is good.
North pole, wifi, very clever.
So's yours.
Simple and to the point.
Oh, this guy again?
Does he have to drive by here every day?
His office is up the street.
I thought he worked out of his car.
Hi!
You look like you've been up all night.
Yeah. Um, what do you think?
Oh.
Huh...
Very clever.
Oh, thank you.
No, not that one, it's the other one.
Oh, right.
Yeah, that one, um...
That one looks great, too.
Look, I'm late for work.
Drinks later?
Yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
: Bye.
He doesn't like mine.
Ah, what does he know? He's a suit.
Yeah, his family's
on the board of the guggenheim.
Never heard of it.
Come on, I'll let you buy me a fa LA latte.
Oh, this day just keeps getting better.
See you later.
I have a million other places I could be right now.
Oh, name two.
How about human resources,
picking up your severance check, huh?
Should I go on?
Nope, we're good.
Okay. Listen,
if someone comes into the store
after seeing one of these displays,
there is a 50% greater chance
that they're going to make a purchase.
Wait, does that even make sense?
Yes, it makes sense, Jake.
- Uh, are sales up, Mr. Fitch? - Marginally.
- Oh, you're welcome. - That wasn't a compliment.
Sloan,
your window was pleasant, okay?
But pleasant makes people smile...
Smiling is good, right?
No, not if they smile
and keep walking down the street to the next store, okay?
You're here to create
the desire to shop, okay?
So, bring people in,
otherwise I'm going to have to give napkin king here
your window, too.
Just the way it goes.
Okay?
Aren't you going to gloat?
No. I liked your window.
Are you finished with this?
Just going to borrow this real quick.
Is there anything else I can get you, sir?
I could go for a sandwich.
: I'll tell you where you can go.
Oh, no.
Mac sent you here, too?
Apparently, he wants us to spend more time together.
Yes, because, clearly, nine hours a day isn't enough?
Hey, if you want to see me after hours,
just come out and say it.
I am so done bringing him coffee.
Easels, everyone.
Jake, we're starting.
Today, we will be focusing on...
The eyes.
Windows to the soul.
Okay.
New student?
Um, no, I'm... no.
Don't be shy.
We're all very supportive here.
Have a seat.
We'll set you up with a sketch pad...
Have a seat.
Get you all set up.
Piece of charcoal, you are ready to draw.
Okay.
Kill the smile, Jake. It's very distracting.
All right, heads up, everybody,
next session,
we will be focusing on...
The upper torso.
Just a heads-up on that one.
Jake, of course, will be hitting the gym,
he'll be doing crunches galore.
I know, I'll be out of here by 10:00.
And kill the lights.
You left them on last time.
I did?
20 bucks, huh?
You are a supermodel.
Well, I do it for the studio time.
Not that I would turn down 20 bucks.
Wow...
I didn't know I was so good-looking.
I assume this means
you'll be sticking around for the upper torso then?
You assume wrong.
I want to show you something.
If it's the upper torso, thanks, I pass.
No.
Less spectacular than that.
Much less, in fact.
I don't know how to finish it.
I didn't know you were a painter.
It's all I ever wanted to be,
ever since I discovered the art section at the library.
Andrew wyeth.
Yeah, "Christina's world."
You know it?
Yeah, I had that painting
on my bedroom wall in high school.
Me too.
Of course, where I'm from,
nobody actually becomes a painter
unless they're painting the side of a barn.
You're not from the city?
Maine.
Huh.
A town the size of this room.
Right now my family is taking bets
on when I'll be home
with my tail between my legs.
Anyway, how many people really make it in the art world?
Maybe they're right. Maybe I should give up.
Don't.
No, you're... You're really good.
Thank you.
Yeah. Huh.
Anyway, uh,
I should go.
I'm late for...
For... For a polo match?
High tea?
Dinner with mom.
Ah, well, give my best to muffy tottingham van doren.
Oh, and, uh,
bring me a doggy bag.
No.
Okay.
Hey, this faucet is leaking again.
Did you call maintenance?
Oh, they don't know from faucets.
Oh, what's with the lipstick?
I thought we covered that.
Don't start, mom.
Let's go.
I am starving.
Ah, there's nothing like the smell of a plastic tree,
right, Uncle Jimmy?
Hey!
I can re-use it, and I don't have to water it.
Yeah, because it would be such a chore
to water a two-foot tree.
There are trees outside.
Listen,
how's that job of yours going, dressing up those dummies?
Didn't she tell you?
She got the Christmas windows.
It's just one window.
But it's a big window.
Actually, they're the same size.
Well, whatever, we're proud of you, kid.
Thank you.
Hey, where's aunt Doris?
She's working.
I had to come over and fix your mom's sink.
And eat me out of house and home.
It would be cheaper to hire a real plumber.
Oh...
Well, be my guest.
Did I tell you
I rode the elevator with that cute Jake today?
Yes, you may have mentioned it three or four times.
He's very sweet.
Yes, he's a real charmer.
Good-looking, too.
Better looking than that Kenny.
Okay.
Kenneth.
And you've never met him.
This Kenneth, does he make a living?
He's from a big shot banking family.
Oh, fancy.
He's too fancy to meet us.
Okay, I will introduce you when things get more serious.
It's been three months.
Your father and I married after two weeks.
Yes, and we all know how well that worked out.
We had fun while it lasted.
When you know, you know.
Fish or cut bait.
And you wonder why
you scared off my last boyfriend.
You were too good for him.
Uncle Jimmy, um,
you gonna eat that last meatball?
Yes.
And stay away from my plate.
I'm just asking.
Aunt Doris,
you're supposed to be working!
Geez, Jimmy, how many times are you gonna fall for that?
It's unbelievable.
It never fails.
Remember, shoppers,
mcguire's has all your holiday decorating needs.
Hey.
Wow, you look nice.
Nice enough to convince you to join me?
Uh, I can't.
I'm installing all night.
Again?
Yeah. Sorry.
You realize
I'll be the only guy at the client dinner
without a plus one.
Well, I could loan you a mannequin.
Or two.
You could be a plus two.
Yeah, I don't think that would go over too well
with the partners.
I'm free tomorrow night.
I'm going to the Knicks game with flanders.
Lunch?
Mergers meeting.
Right...
I'll call you.
She'll be waiting anxiously by the phone.
Bye.
Christmas cookies from the cafe?
Yay, cookies!
What did you get?
Oh.
Thanks, Mac.
Hey, what do we have here?
A partridge in a pear tree?
Oh, come on.
Oh, come on, give me a look.
Oh, what?
Like I'm going to steal your ideas?
Well, there's only so much you can write on a napkin.
True,
but when I'm out of napkins, there's always paper towels,
tissue paper...
You do know that bickering is a sign of affection.
Not in this case.
No, it's a sign of insecurity,
on her part.
I'm-I'm insecure?
That's why you over-prepare.
It's fine, it's not a big deal.
Over-prepare!
You two carry on like me and my wife.
I mean, we had a disagreement over everything,
and loved each other till the day she died.
It's so quiet without her.
And do you know what I miss most?
Having someone to bicker with.
Think of that.
Good night, you two.
Good night, Mac.
How long has he been alone?
Four years.
He was married for 30.
It would be really great
for him to have somebody to spend the holidays with.
Yeah, it would.
Page 17.
We have a blurb.
A blurb. Is it contagious?
"The war of the windows at mcguire's."
"Sales are up in the department store,
yada yada, blah blah.
Kudos, you two,
it seems that you've managed to capture the zeitgeist.
The what?
The spirit of the times.
"Zeitgeist."
Gesundheit.
Would you say
that one window captured it more?
No. No...
Oh.
But I do feel semi-confident in saying
that I think one of you two will be stepping
into miss jeffers' shoes
very soon.
Hey, does she have big feet? Because I wear an 11.
All right, 10 and a half.
And you say that I am the insecure one?
Ah, forgot my napkins.
Oh, wow, what a relief.
Crisis averted.
Hah.
The perimeter alarm will set in five minutes.
Sorry, jimbo
get it back to you in the A.M.
Lookin' good, though.
Home sweet home.
There she is.
I missed you this morning.
Housewares had frittatas.
Oh, no,
don't tell me that.
I was at the laundromat.
Here, I got brought you something much better.
Home-cooked.
Meatballs.
Meatballs arrabiata.
Rita, you are the mother I never had.
Oh, you never had a mother?
No, I had one, she just, she microwaves a lot,
and she's kind of far away.
Mm. So good.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
How are you still single?
Well, you don't meet a lot of eligible men
in the ladies' room.
Well, let's hope not.
How's your window going?
Ah, not too bad.
I'm having a little trouble with my co-worker.
Romantic trouble?
No.
No, no, no, no.
She's way out of my league.
Hmm.
What makes you think that?
Trust me, I'm not the guy she's looking for.
Well, this is me.
Thanks again for the meatballs.
You had me at arrabiata.
Come by the store,
it'll take you all of 10 minutes.
Well, how would you like to work all day
with a leaky faucet?
Yes.
I will feed you.
Fine, a pot roast.
And potatoes.
See ya.
Is that Uncle Jimmy?
What gave it away?
Okay, so I know that
it doesn't smell as good as the plastic tree, but...
Oh, honey, you shouldn't have.
Now I have to water it.
I'll water it.
You don't have time.
It'll take five seconds.
Plus, it's a living tree, so we can plant it afterwards.
What's for dinner?
Aunt Doris brought some tongue.
We're not going to eat aunt Doris' tongue.
See, saying that makes me want to gag.
You're right. You cook.
I was in a window all day.
I was in a bathroom all day.
You win.
So...
When am I ever going to meet Kenneth?
Oh, it is not the right time.
Why, are you in a fight?
No.
No, we're not in a fight.
We've never even had a fight.
You haven't had a fight
because you've never been honest with him.
Invite him to Christmas Eve Eve.
He's going skiing.
Why don't you invite Jake?
He has nowhere to go.
What, are you two bffs now?
It's Christmas, he's away from his family.
I'm just saying.
I'm saying, don't meddle.
Uncle Jimmy's making tur-dunkin'.
You mean turducken.
No, "tur-dunkin'."
Turkey fried in dunkin' donut batter.
Oh, my God.
♪ Two hearts set on fire
♪ two hearts set on fire ♪
♪ I was a king of move along ♪
♪ she was the queen of scared and strong ♪
♪ looking out for no one
♪ but ourselves
♪ I was trying to make a name in a hopeless town ♪
♪ she was tired of playing games with the local crowd ♪
♪ surrounded by so many dreams left on the shelf ♪
♪ two hearts set on fire like shooting stars ♪
♪ that only we can see
♪ and I'm falling into the deep end ♪
♪ crashing faster than we thought it could be ♪
♪ we're two hearts set on fire ♪
♪ two hearts set on fire
♪ we were holding onto hope it may be something more ♪
♪ always looking for another open door ♪
♪ trying to make our way through life ♪
♪ these city streets
♪ two hearts set on fire
♪ like shooting stars that only we can see... ♪
Good morning, Mac.
Oh, thanks, honey.
What is Santa's wife's name?
Mary.
As in "Mary Christmas."
No, Martha.
Try Martha claus.
That could work.
Hey, speaking of age-appropriate women...
I've got just the girl for you, Mac.
Okay, run,
and do not look back.
Ah, she's a hottie.
And she makes a killer meatballs arrabiata.
You probably know her, she works in the store.
Likes to have a good time, kind of loud. Rita.
That is not what he needs.
Who doesn't need a good time?
No, okay, Mac, if you're looking
to get back into the game,
you just let me find you somebody.
Thank you both very much,
but I have all I need right here.
I have mcguire's.
All right, I'm kind of
starting to worry about you now.
When was the last time you had female company?
Hey, okay, aren't you getting a little personal here?
Face it.
Romance is for you young kids.
Actually, van doren's not all that young.
I'm the same age as you.
Really? You seem older.
Oh, okay, well, when you act 12,
I'm sure everyone seems older.
Zing.
All right, fine, I looked.
Thank you, thank you. Fantastic, isn't it?
This is our recycled window.
You know, we're really conscious
about keeping everything green here at mcguire's
and everything is recycled in it.
The soda cans, the led light on Rudolph.
And that window is fantastic, too.
The saying, it's "ho-ho-ho."
Santa says, "ho-ho-ho,"
but we just did it "yo-yo-yo" 'cause of the kids.
They really are into the whole, "yo!"
All right, I'll see you later.
Thank you for helping me Christmas shop.
Of course.
Can I see this one?
You have great taste.
Megan, this is Kenneth...
My pleasure.
My boyfriend.
I'm usually in cosmetics. Drop by for a sample.
Ooh, I don't wear cologne.
Allergies.
I have hypo-allergenic.
That's good to know.
You like this one?
It's beautiful.
Try it on.
It's not a ring...
I'm just saying.
Hey, Kenneth,
you should use her employee discount.
She gets 15% off.
Technically, he can't use my employee discount,
unless I buy it for you.
You don't mind?
Because that would be fantastic.
In fact, charge two of those.
Um, two?
Yeah. For my partners' wives.
Oh, um...
You gift-wrap, right?
- Mm-hmm. - Great.
A regular knight in shining armor.
You're still here?
I work here, remember?
The supermodel-slash- visual merchandiser?
Look, in case you're wondering,
I'm buying your present somewhere else.
Who's going to sign for that?
Group hug?
In your case, group therapy.
Later.
How do you stand him?
It is amazing what a person can get used to.
Might be time to have my father
make another phone call.
What?
Kenneth, what did you do?
Okay, fine, I may have had my father mention you
to old man mcguire
at the club, okay?
It's not a big deal.
I'm sure you would have got this window thing anyway.
Yeah, only now I will never know.
Does it matter?
You got a window, that's what's important.
Then why do I feel sick to my stomach?
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
I was just trying to help.
I know.
Can we put this behind us?
I guess.
Okay, great.
I'll see you tonight, then, okay?
Gift receipt.
And don't be late,
because everyone there is expecting to meet you.
Bye.
You look nice.
Thank you.
Actually, you look perfect.
Thank you.
That's, um, that's a compliment, right?
Well, don't take this the wrong way,
but why do you need all that makeup and fake stuff?
Oh, you're saying I look fake?
No, I'm saying that you're more of a natural...
A natural...
- What's the expression? - Natural beauty?
No, that's not it.
Yeah, you're more of a natural beauty.
So where are you taking Kenny for dinner tonight?
Ha, ha, ha.
It's his firm's Christmas party.
Well, don't get stuck with the check.
Last-minute shopping?
Uh...
You were going to sabotage my window, weren't you?
No.
Okay, then what are you doing here?
I'd rather not say.
Hmm, shoplifting?
Vandalism?
Trying on women's clothing?
No, no, and...
That's a thought.
All right, follow me.
Welcome to my humble abode.
You're living here?
Well, if by "living here," you mean living here,
then, yes.
For how long?
A couple weeks.
Like eight.
Ta-dah!
I ran out of rent money.
It's temporary, at least I hope it is.
You realize these are grounds for termination, right?
I mean, not to mention that
I'm pretty sure that it's illegal.
All right, look,
I know you hate me,
but will you please not tell Fitch about this?
I don't hate you.
You don't?
Okay, maybe a little.
Yeah, I hate me a little, too.
So...
Okay, um, we will pick this up tomorrow.
I've got to go.
Uh... about that.
The door is locked.
Okay, so how do you get out?
I don't.
Not till morning.
Why didn't you tell me that this could happen?
Was I supposed to?
I'm telling you,
they're locked electronically.
It's not going to open.
I'm just going to...
You're not going to get any cell reception either,
I'm sorry.
This is a nightmare!
Kenneth's entire firm is expecting me,
and what is he going to think when I don't show up?
I think he'll understand.
Come on, who hasn't spent a night
trapped in a department store?
No, no, no.
Hey, come on, here. Here, here, here.
I can't blow my nose on your sketches!
Yeah, you can.
They're not any good.
No.
No, they are.
Even your napkins are better than mine.
Hey, where's that Parsons school of confidence?
You should have gotten both windows.
What are you talking about?
Kenneth's dad made a call,
and that's how I got this job.
No...
Because I'm not good enough.
Of course you are.
You don't know that.
Yeah, I do.
And I hate you a little bit, too,
so I have no reason to lie.
Come on.
I'm going to cheer you up.
Oh...
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh...
I have been eyeing this basket for days.
Isn't this considered stealing?
He didn't buy it.
Look at the card.
"For the design staff"?
Fitch was supposed to share this with us.
I'm trying to tell ya.
Get in there.
Mm.
Oh, man, that is so good.
I haven't had chocolate since I met Kenneth.
He doesn't believe in chocolate?
Oh, okay.
Um, ooh. Try one of these.
It's gluten-free.
What is gluten?
You know what, strike that, did you say "free"?
Oh, wow.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, at this rate,
we are not going to fit in those windows.
That's what I'm hoping.
Can I interest you in a little more
of this delicious mcguire's fizz-apple?
I am pretty sure that that bottle
has been here since the store opened.
Then it is aged to perfection.
What do you think?
Spend a little time in here.
I think I can get used to it.
To the future miss jeffers.
Come.
I want to show you something.
Well, no heater, no furniture, no roof.
It suits you.
It's the best view in the house, though.
Yeah.
This kind of reminds me of Christmas back home.
Aside from the buildings, cars and people.
Sounds peaceful.
It is.
We had a frozen pond in the backyard.
You skate?
Of course.
You?
Rockefeller center.
It's been years, though.
So what did you do before mcguire's?
Uh, it's embarrassing.
Uh...
I folded t-shirts at the mall.
Wow.
I worked in a Santa suit outside of a dry cleaners.
I wore a polyester uniform.
I repeat, "Santa suit."
My last name isn't van doren.
I, uh...
I added the "van" to make it sound more important.
Wow.
You really are competitive.
Okay.
Um... I dropped out of art school
because I couldn't afford it.
Miss jeffers said that I lacked talent.
I haven't finished a painting in three months.
I have been dreading Kenneth's Christmas party
all week.
I'm living in a department store.
I live in Brooklyn, two blocks from my mother.
Well, my mother says I'm a dreamer.
My mother is the bathroom attendant at mcguire's.
Wait. What?
Rita is your mother?
Are you making this up
just to win whatever this is?
No.
Were you adopted?
No.
I am a facade.
I'm like a window.
That is what we do, isn't it?
We create...
We create perfect images for people to admire.
You called me a fake.
No, you were right.
I didn't say you were a fake.
I said you look better without makeup.
There's a difference.
Yeah.
I was so happy when I got hired at mcguire's
because I thought, you know,
hey, I could work my way up
and eventually make enough money
so that my mom could stop working.
She spent all of her savings
putting me through school.
I mean, every paycheck,
every tip.
And, uh, here I am,
I am embarrassed to admit
that she is my own mother.
Fitch pencils in his moustache.
What? What did you say?
Fitch pencils in his moustache.
He keeps women's makeup
in a locker in the executive restroom.
I'm not kidding.
You see?
Who isn't a fake, in some way or another?
You.
Oh, are you kidding me? No. You're not.
Are you kidding me?
I walk around like everything's hunky dory,
but you think it doesn't kill me
that I'm broke,
or that my family doesn't believe in me?
That I'm not even sure if I believe in me?
You realize that you are showing
in one of the best art galleries in New York.
The front window at mcguire's.
No, Salvador dali
dressed windows at bonwit's in 1934.
- Get out of here. - No, I'm serious.
He used a display
and he made it with a bathtub, pigeons,
and dismembered mannequins.
What?
When the store tried to change it,
he went into an artistic rage,
and he hurled the bathtub through the front window
onto the fifth Avenue.
He was detained in a stockroom,
and then he was carted off to jail.
No.
Yup.
Are you telling me this
because you think I'll end up in jail?
No. No, I am telling you this because dali was an artist.
Like you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
So,
if, um, if you're not doing anything on the 23rd,
my, um, my family,
we're having Christmas dinner at my mom's.
Christmas on the 23rd?
That's an interesting tradition.
Christmas Eve Eve.
Eve Eve, ah, okay.
Yes, well, my family usually works
on the holidays... Holiday pay.
Sure.
Uh, will sir Kenneth be there?
Aspen.
In that case, I accept.
Black tie optional?
Forbidden.
Um, I should warn you, though,
we are having Turkey
deep-fried in dunkin' donuts batter.
Tur-dunkin'?
You know tur-dunkin'?
Of course! Who doesn't know tur-dunkin'?
Apparently just me.
Sorry, it's...
Just a sec.
I've just got to...
Something's going on with my phone here.
What?
Oh, that... That's weird,
that it would just playing music like that.
I guess maybe we should dance.
Come on.
Okay.
This is me cheering you up.
All right. All right, why not?
See? That's not so bad.
Wow, not bad.
I didn't know you could dance.
Shut up.
Wait for it.
Mm-hmm.
Wait for it.
Uh-oh, uh-oh...
Okay, all right.
And comin' back.
Hide. Hide. Quickly.
Go, go, go, go!
You ever play seven minutes in heaven?
I'm just sayin'.
We should have done it out there.
Shh.
Good morning, sunshine.
How long have we been sleeping?
Must've been that cheap apple cider
you plied me with.
Oh, I was right.
You do look better without makeup.
I have to call Kenneth.
You want me to handle that for you?
Attention, employees!
The store will open in 10 minutes.
Whoops.
No, you have, um, you've done enough.
Hey, what happened to
that chocolate-scarfing Brooklyn girl
from last night?
Hel... lo?
Hey, Megan.
No, we were working late.
Something like that.
You might want to get your act together.
The store is opening.
The store is open.
Great.
Now I have to do the walk of shame.
Big deal.
I do it every day.
Employee discount, 5%, right?
That's how we do it.
Thank you. Time is a little short.
Hey.
Weren't you wearing that yesterday?
Yes.
Not interested.
Chop chop. The photographer's waiting.
What photographer?
The times.
He's doing a spread on the Christmas windows.
I told you about this.
You didn't let her know?
I... sorry. I totally forgot.
I can't...
I can't be photographed like this.
I can. I look great.
Come on, both of you.
It's not funny.
No, it's not.
No!
Well, it's funny you should say that
because the crowds outside have never been bigger.
Actually, Christmas Eve,
we will be unveiling
our final windows of the season...
Please don't touch me.
It's a casual pose.
It's a casual pose for snaps.
That's fine.
Thank you, thank you.
Please stop.
Why is everybody coming at once?
Just take the pictures.
Your hand.
Hi.
I am so sorry that I missed the party.
I cannot believe you got locked in there with that guy.
If it was anyone else, I might be jealous.
What was he doing, robbing the place?
It...
Uh, it's sort of complicated.
Can I have a chardonnay?
Thanks.
Um, he...
He lost his apartment.
So?
So, he's kind of...
Temporarily been...
Living there.
At mcguire's?
In the bedroom display.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Yeah, but you can't say anything.
To anyone.
It's so perfect.
Who are you calling?
I'm calling my dad. Are you kidding me?
Old man mcguire would love to find out that
that loser is sleeping in the store.
No, no. No. No.
No calls.
No.
You want to become head designer, right?
Yeah.
But not in that way.
Why? This is a slam dunk.
Promise me that you're not going to make any calls.
Okay.
I promise, no calls.
Thank you.
I'm guessing you saw it.
Oh, God.
Unfortunately, yes.
Most people only get in the papers
three times in their lives...
When they're born, when they're married,
and when they die.
And in my case,
when they look like a complete psycho.
You know, I don't remember a time
when the windows got more attention.
Miss jeffers didn't get half your crowds.
And she worked alone.
Ha ha.
Lucky her.
So spending the night in the store
hasn't changed your opinion of him?
He told you about that?
Yeah.
I offered him to stay at my place,
but he's too proud.
Yeah, well, I think you're giving him too much credit.
And the keys to the executive restroom?
I am shocked that he has not made off
with the soap and the bathroom fixtures.
I didn't give him the keys.
Must have got those from someone else.
He said that you gave him the keys.
Nope.
Just the alarm codes.
Hot dog, I look pretty good.
Don't worry, you look all right.
You have the alarm codes?
The...
Oops.
So, we weren't locked in.
Uh...
Technically, no.
Why would you lie to keep me in the store?
Why do you think?
I don't know, uh...
To distract me?
To keep your enemies closer?
To make me look unprofessional
in front of Fitch?
Or to... I don't know, try to ruin things
between me and Kenneth?
Uh, none of the above.
Although to be fair, you and Kenneth...
I don't see it.
Whatever it is,
that you think you're doing here,
it won't work.
Can't blame a guy for trying, right?
Well, we still have one more window.
The grand finale.
Mm-hmm,
and my window is going to make your window
look like a re-gifted fruitcake.
Is that right?
Yeah, so you better go on
get back to your napkins.
There's no more napkins.
It's all up here.
Mm.
Yeah, that'll work out, real well.
Morning, Rita.
Looking good.
Hello. Thank you.
You smell good.
Yeah, some free cologne samples.
How's that eggnog?
Ah, weak.
I concur.
Talk to Marge in kitchenware.
Oh, what's up, k-man?
Aren't you supposed to be at the airport?
Flight delay.
Last chance to change your mind.
I can't.
Come on.
Happy holidays.
Kenneth, that's her drink.
She's my...
Coworker.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
It happens.
I actually... I don't shake hands,
but I'll tell you what,
buy yourself something on me, okay?
Hand that back, please.
Hand it back, please?
Hey, girls.
I'm going to fix the sink in the ladies' John.
You want to join me for a couple of hot dogs later?
Yeah. If you're buying, let's go get some.
Kenneth, this is, um...
This is my mother.
Rita dorentella.
I'm sorry,
I don't, uh...
I don't understand.
I thought you said
that your mother was traveling.
Yeah, well, um,
only back and forth to mcguire's.
She's the "domestic concierge,"
which is...
That's not the truth.
Um, she's the bathroom attendant.
And this is my Uncle Jimmy.
I'm a drain surgeon!
Sloan, what is going on?
I thought that you wouldn't like me
if you knew that I wasn't...
Like you.
And apparently,
I am the most shallow and insecure person
in the entire world,
so, um, I'm sorry.
I have to go.
I'm-I'm sorry.
Wait, shouldn't we at least fight about this?
About...
You okay?
He'll get over it.
A little fighting's good for a couple, right?
Kenneth doesn't fight.
I thought Kenneth didn't shake hands.
I really messed this up.
Clearly, I'm no relationship expert,
but if he can't accept you for who you are,
why would you want to be with him?
And who am I, really?
I mean, come on, what,
I'm a liar, and a fake,
with questionable talent.
That is not who you are.
If only I had been honest with him
from the beginning...
He would have dumped you immediately.
You don't know that.
Well, I'm going to dinner.
What? It's 3:00.
Yeah, I'm done early.
How can you be done?
I mean, I'll probably paint the room green,
or red, or...
I don't know, maybe both.
You expect me to believe that
that right there
is your Christmas Eve window?
Yup.
You're trying to throw me off.
No.
Less is more, right?
What happened to "more is more?"
Maybe less is the new more.
That's your final window?
A plate of cookies,
and a... what is it, a glass of milk?
And the Santa hat.
You realize you're going to lose.
I don't know, maybe.
And you don't care?
It means more to you.
Oh, there she is!
Merry Christmas Eve Eve, everyone...
I saw you naked.
Okay.
Um, what are you doing here?
You invited me.
The other night, at the store?
Yeah, I know, I remember.
I just didn't think you'd actually show up.
Jake brought you these beautiful flowers.
Uh, second floor garden display?
Good eye.
I would have brought chocolate,
but, for some reason,
Fitch started locking his office.
Speaking of which...
Thanks, girlfriend.
I am going to miss
that 20-jet shower.
You gave him the keys
to the executive restroom?
They may have
fallen out of my pocket into his hand.
You know, Jake was just telling us
the story of his favorite Christmas...
Oh, no, Uncle Jimmy, I really don't think...
Okay, okay, so,
he wanted a pair of ice skates so badly.
Finally, it's Christmas time.
He opens them up,
and they're white girl's skates.
They were out of the black ones.
Sloan, remember the Christmas
you got your ice skates?
You were crazy about those skates.
Yeah. Yeah, I was, yeah.
That must be the date.
You invited a date?
Yeah.
For your mom.
A date?
Relax. Sit down.
But she doesn't date.
Oh, she does now.
Do I look okay?
You're a traffic-stopper, Rita.
Thank you.
So who's this date?
Anybody?
I don't know.
She didn't say anything to me.
Rita?
Hi, Mac.
You look lovely.
Well, thank you.
You clean up well yourself.
You'd be surprised
what a little windex will do.
Everybody, this is Mac.
: Hi, Mac.
Hey, there. Hi!
You kids got me thinking, you know,
I've spent the holidays alone
since my wife died.
She wouldn't have liked that.
Your mother and I...
Well, we've had our eye on each other
for a while now, haven't we, Rita?
I know I have.
Well, I don't know about anyone else,
but I, for one,
am dying to break into that tur-dunkin'.
Well, come on!
Follow me.
Yes! Let's go!
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
Here comes the Turkey!
Tur-dunkin', you did it!
Who's going to carve this thing?
Well, you do it.
No, no, I don't want to carve.
I've been unclogging sinks all day.
All right, all right, I'll carve it.
I'm in a sculpting class, so...
You're a sculptor, too?
Well, not exactly.
I inspire the sculptors.
He's a supermodel.
Oh, now, that is a job that I would be very good at.
Yeah, we'll be waiting with bated breath on that.
Uncle Jimmy, I'm sorry, when you're done,
can you hand me that...
Pass the rolls!
Hey, hey, bun thief!
That's my bun.
This is your bun.
I want my bun back. Give me back my...
Happy holidays, loyal shoppers!
Welcome to our annual Christmas Eve unveiling.
Now, as usual,
mcguire does have our stocking stuffers here,
so please feel free
to take a couple stocking stuffers.
Here you are, ladies.
There you are.
And here... Not you, Jake. Thank you.
Stocking stuffers...
Now, in 95 years of business here at mcguire's,
we're known for quality,
we are known for tradition,
but we're also known for our...
Yes, there it is.
Miss.
We're also known for our Christmas windows,
which everybody loves,
and I'm sure you'll all agree
that this year we really outdid ourselves,
and I'm very excited about this.
So, please, with no further ado.
Window one.
Wow.
Jake?
Yeah.
Jake, is that... Is that your window?
Yeah.
What.... What is that?
Minimalism.
It sends a message.
What message is it sending?
Eliminating excess.
Jake, we're a department store.
Excess is what we do.
Yeah, well, you know, today's economy as it is,
setbacks, cutbacks...
Cutbacks, oh, there'll be cutbacks, my friend.
There's going to be cutbacks.
Ladies and gentlemen,
luckily, we have two windows,
so...
Window number two, here we are.
Nice. That's better, that's better.
It will be.
What's going on here?
It is a Christmas dinner food fight.
It's a little risky.
Zeitgeist.
Ah, right.
Congrats. You did it.
No, no, no.
Great.
This is... it's fine. It's a joke.
They're hired actors. They're...
Sales inside!
Congratulations, you two.
You just single-handedly ruined Christmas for mcguire's.
So... that's great.
You're fired.
Ired.
Wow...
That is so beautiful.
Really?
Really.
So...
Christmas Eve, here we are.
Yeah.
Candy cane?
Trade you.
For me?
An apology fa LA latte.
I'm sorry.
For what?
Among other things,
I'm the reason that you got fired.
Ah, that was inevitable.
This is true.
At least I can fall back on my career as a supermodel.
This is not true. Um...
It's not going to happen
I have been trying for so long to be somebody else,
that I completely lost sight of what's important,
and I was standing outside mcguire's tonight,
and I just...
I just realized, you know,
we should be capturing the Christmas spirit,
not the zeitgeist.
You know what,
I don't want to be responsible
for ruining 95 years of tradition,
and I don't think you do either.
Well, I do prefer being irresponsible.
You're very good at it.
Um, do you still have the alarm code?
Um...
Maybe?
You know where this belongs.
Sign it.
So, no food fights, no half-eaten cake,
no Santa being sawed in half by a magician.
Really, that just leaves...
Kenneth.
How festive.
Hi.
Come on in here.
It's freezing out there.
Looks like it's Christmas in the Hamptons after all.
Or was it Aspen?
We'll always have Brooklyn.
So, uh, why aren't you in Aspen?
Denver is completely, totally snowed in.
No flights.
So...
I got your message.
Yeah, um...
It felt weird, how things were left.
Um...
I'm sorry.
I should have been honest with you.
I, uh, I had this image of what I thought I should be,
and I was wrong.
Apology accepted.
Thank you.
And I've been thinking,
and I want you to know,
that I am willing to overlook those people.
What people?
You know, your mother and the plumber.
Those people
are my...
Wait a minute.
I'm sorry, do you...
Do you smell like cologne?
Uh... what?
You smell like cologne.
Like...
Eau de Megan.
Okay, yes, we had drinks.
You and Megan?
Yes.
And maybe a dinner last week
when you were working.
It was not a big deal.
You lied to me, I lied to you.
Let's just...
Let's just call it even, okay, and start over?
Kenneth, I, uh...
I don't want to start over.
Because of Megan?
It didn't mean anything to me.
She's just a salesgirl.
And I am just a window dresser.
You called me.
Yes.
To apologize.
"Those people"
are my family.
You know, and, yeah,
they might be loud
and very embarrassing,
but they're mine,
and I love them.
You know, I don't...
I don't want to be somebody's plus-one.
I want to be somebody's battleaxe.
If you must know,
lord Kenneth's flowers are on their way to Aspen.
It-it just...
♪ Deck the halls and hang the mistletoe ♪
♪ kiss the one you love and let it snow ♪
♪ isn't Christmas time a wonderful thing? ♪
♪ And Santa claus will drop on by ♪
♪ Can you feel the magic when his reindeer fly? ♪
♪ Christmas time is almost here again ♪
♪ every year, the Carols make you heart sing ♪
♪ isn't Christmas time a wonderful thing? ♪
I cannot wait to see the look on Fitch's face.
Well, he's either going to kiss us
or kill us.
Not really sure which I'd prefer.
I don't think I'd like either one of those.
Oh, my gosh, what happened?
I don't know.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Fitch must have changed the codes.
Hold it right there.
Hold it there.
Hands against the hood of the car.
It's not what you think.
Hands against the hood of the car, please.
It's okay. We work here.
Okay, well, we used to work here.
We used to work here.
But we don't...
I don't know him.
All right, you're both under arrest.
- Don't say it. - I won't.
You're not freaking out?
What are they going to do?
They already fired us.
Jail?
Perfect. There's no windows.
Plus free meals.
And no make-up.
Phew! You've changed, van doren.
Hmm. You haven't.
Did you call Kenneth?
No.
Did you called Kenneth and Kenneth called his father?
I have no idea who that is.
Oh.
Thank you.
Mac?
What's going on here?
Whose car is this?
It's mine.
Wow, washing windows pays better than I thought.
No,
I'm just rich.
Sure,
and I bet you have three last names.
Oh, no, only one.
Mcguire.
My family, you know,
they just love those boardrooms and meetings at the club.
I tried that lifestyle back in the day,
but it's not for me.
I like being where the action is,
getting to know my employees,
being treated like a regular person.
My life is rich because of the people in it.
Like you two.
Group hug?
Come on.
Okay...
♪ It's Christmas again
♪ and everybody's home
♪ the fire's burning bright...
This year, we've really outdone ourselves, okay,
so without any further ado, here we are!
Here it is.
Wow.
Isn't that nice?
You can almost smell the Turkey.
♪ Feelin' happy
♪ it's Santa's job sayin' ho, ho, ho ♪
♪ and the streets are covered up with snow ♪
♪ oh, Christmas
♪ this is Christmas...
Congratulations, you two,
on your marginally deserved promotion.
You're promoting us?
Yes, Jake.
Consider yourselves both the new miss jeffers.
God help us.
Thank you, Mr. Fitch.
We will not disappoint you.
Well... I still might.
No doubt, Jake, no doubt.
I love this window.
Okay, seriously,
is this sweater made out of brillo?
Stop it.
Put your mind on something else.
Okay.
How about that?
Wow.
Oh, right.
Um, we should...
We should probably do that again.
Yeah.
Yeah, no arguments from me.
Merry Christmas.
♪ Everybody...
♪ Feelin' happy
♪ it's Santa's job sayin' ho, ho, ho ♪
♪ oh, Christmas
♪ this is Christmas...